Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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