before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
