I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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