wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
