Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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