$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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