Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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