You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
