Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
