Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
