this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
