I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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