i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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