Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Randomize
