We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize