They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
