I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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