Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
