That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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