East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize