in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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