I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
