oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
