those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
