Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
