i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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