Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
