Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
