When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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