I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
