She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
