haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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