we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
