I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
