Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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