I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
