dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
