Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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