another moral hangover. fuck.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
