new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Did I show you my penis last night?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize