Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
