So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
