Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
