At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize