the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
