im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
