I wanna bring you to show and tell
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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