Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
