is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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