so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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