So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
