When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
