you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
try to milk me bitch
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