Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
