I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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