Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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