i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
