there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize